Bukan karena aku ini Batu :(

That's right, another bad words in the middle of my life. What a suck words :(

People like them will have no care enough to someone like me.

Then I try my best to find my God, but sometimes, I feel, He leaves me alone (doesn't He?) I run into Him, but I find no one. Does my heart hurt? Always...

Still on my big argumentation, could I hate Him? No, I can't. I need Him being here, I ensure my self that He is now helping others, too, who have another reason to be first handled (than mine).

(Again) People like them will have no reactions to what I did in front of them. You will not know that they will not realize what my sacrifices to them. In my high temper, I would say some bad words that I never hate them but I'm really disappointed to them. I sacrifice all my happiness just to them, but now, what they give to me? Nothing. So, I really being offended. I regretted all my sacrifices.

But, then, God talked to me, He said it had been not a regression from my deeply heart coz He know me well, how can I figure all this stuff out. He never leaves me (as I know) coz I really need Him in this time.

If I were a telephone, I would call HIm continuously. In fact, I only hope and give my tears away.

Dear my Beloved God, can I tell them? How I really need their expectation. I won't be a stone for my whole lifetime. It will be some suck human errors in my mind.

Others will say, you can do that or you can't do that. Then, I would say to them, do you mind if you just keep silent beside me? I only need some silence in a existence of humans but don't talk to me to much till the best time I can tell you something. :(

All my hurts, I really hope, will disappear tonight. God, am I doing big sins now?

I'm totally sad and fulled of tears, but I still hope His Light even it will be only a little Light, so I can walk in the top of this stuff. :(

(Again) People like them will never know how I really appreciate them as my big partners in this big world. And now, I try my best to grow older without hurts (as if I were strong enough).

God......................................................

-I love YOu, GOD-

Kalau dunia benar-benar akan hancur :(

Kalau dunia benar-benar akan runtuh, apa kita ini?

Kalau dunia benar-benar akan lenyap, pantaskah kita marah?

Kalau dunia benar-benar akan hilang, sanggupkah kita berontak?

Siapa kita? Beraninya memaki Dia.

Siapa kita? Beraninya meninggalkan Dia.

Siapa kita? Beraninya membangkang.

Bukankah kita sudah cukup?

Cukup hidup.

Cukup makan.

Cukup senang.

Cukup menikmati.

Cukup meminta.

Apa kita ingat kapan terakhir kita mengucap syukur?

Kapan terakhir kita memberi?

Kapan terakhir kita memaafkan?

Kapan terakhir kita meminta maaf?

Kapan terakhir kita membentak orang?

Kapan terakhir kita menyesal?

Kapan terkahir kita menangis?

Hanya secuplik tanpa makna hilang kesadaran.

Angin. Udara. Entah pergi ke mana. Bukan salah mereka.

Sudah waktunya penentuan.

Selamat jalan.

Farewell Firefly.

********************************************

Hi, di sini sudah bukan tempat lagi untuk mengumbar kehebatan dan keterpurukan dunia. Sudah di ujung tandukkah kita ini? (pasti bisa jawab, kan?) Hidup bukan untuk hal-hal kecil atau besar, tapi prosesnya itu yang selalu bikin kita protes, ngambek n childish.

Gk semua manusia punya mata hati yang bersih, gk semua mata hati yang bersih itu selalu benar. In other words, we have something strong ground deep inside in our heart, but actually, people like us will have no reaction to feel or develop this kinda feeling.

Terakhir... what should we do? (klise abis) So you think you can resolve all this stuff? (try to answer it)

Best Regards, :)